I’ve learned to be very careful about what I wish for. As a little girl, I had the romantic notion that I would be ‘rescued’ by a man on an island. I just put it “out there” into the universe.
In the 1980’s I remember a friend who had been diagnosed with cancer and I wondered aloud what choices I’d make if that ever happened to me?
In the 1990’s I mentioned to a colleague my eventual dream would be to work three mornings per week.
Fast forward to 2008 and 2009. I was diagnosed with cancer in my right foot. Who gets cancer in their foot? Well I did… Guess what, I got to decide the choices I’d make. My doctor who takes an unconventional approach in caring for cancer naturally said I should only work three mornings per week! Okay, I got it!!!
In 2009 I was on our island walking and slipped down some steps. To protect my foot, I stopped my fall with landing on my good leg except I misjudged the area and snapped the ligaments in my knee. I was in the mud, unable to walk, and on an island. Guess what? I was rescued by a man who now is my husband Barry. It was not quite what I had imagined as a little girl but a valuable lesson.
I have a new level of awareness in being specific for what I DO want, not what I don’t want. The subconscious doesn’t recognise the negative stem of an affirmation. If I say I don’t want to be fat. The subconscious drops the ‘don’t’ so what’s heard is I want to be fat. And, with the focus being centered on what you do not want you end up getting what you really don’t want.
When affirmations don’t work
- Not using “I am” statements or using past tense. So we need to “be as if” in present tense.
- They are usually placed in a negative and thus we get what we don’t want. So it works but in reverse…I don’t want cancer or I want to be healthy vs. I am healthy, happy and living fully.
- If we are vague – not clear and specific.
- There’s little emotion
- If it does not contain an action verb – an ‘ing’. For example, I’m in a minicooper vs. I am joyfully driving my red 2012 minicooper S convertible on hwy 11. I want to work 3 mornings per week vs. I am inspired by practicing 3 mornings per week seeing remarkable people.
- If the affirmation is about someone else. My daughter’s cleaning her room vs. “I am calmly teaching my daughter about keeping her room clean.”
So be very clear and specific. Place affirmations in the positive. Place them in the present tense. They are about you — say “I am”… and add an emotional feeling word and action verb to them. And, remember to keep them brief.
If you catch yourself in an alternate thought, hit your reset button. Use phrases such as “Cancel” or “Delete” to turn around your thought. It is best to say cancel or delete as a proclamation. I will actually say “delete that or cancel that thought.”
If you want me to provide feedback on the power of your affirmations, post your favorite one in the comments section of this blog.