While we passionately care about what we do in our work, unless the receiver gets it–really feels that we care about them–they won’t care enough to make changes.
I remember a patient from many years ago. She was not prioritizing her health in any way and was out-of-shape, in pain, and under a lot of stress. I was delivering great chiropractic care and giving her home routines, plus advising strategies for managing her stress: Yet she changed nothing. She’d come in complaining, but not be invested in doing her part. One day I finally had it. Tired of hearing her whine, I asked her how she thought things would change if she kept focusing on the problem, the complaints, and not on taking responsibility for partnering in her solutions.
What I saw in that moment was more potential in her than she did. I cared and respected her more than she could for herself. Innate caring spoke through me and I took a chance on tough love and said, ‘I’m doing what I can to help you heal, but you have to want it for yourself. I’m busting my butt, but you’ve got to love yourself enough to want it.” She cried. Harsh words to speak, but I broke through because she could feel my heart and honesty.
She also began healing from that point. While I’ve never repeated that conversation to another, I realized that people need to know and, more importantly, feel the “us”. Those we work with need to feel that we’re a team and in this together. They need to feel the energetic essence of “I do care” and “You do matter”. We need to tell the truth faster.
You may be passionate in what you do, and I hope you are, but not many others will be as passionate about it as you…until they feel your heart.
So lead with your heart.