What does E+R=O mean?
Coined by psychotherapist Robert Resnick, E= event, R= response and O=outcome. Simply, by choosing our response to any event we can change the outcome.
Can you change something that has happened in the past?
If you do not like the outcome you are currently receiving, then the onus is on you to change how you are responding to it. Responding of course means how you’ve interpreted the particular “event”, in other words, your “thoughts” or “images” or your “behavior” in response to it. All of which are a choice we make.
Consider when driving, another motorist blares his horn at you to cut into a lane.
The “event” is the horn blowing.
You have a choice about how to respond:
A) If you respond by getting angry, you might add to the stress of your day, make a few judgment decisions that might not be in your favor. Those in turn may add to the physiological stress of your day; which, day-by-day, impacts your life.
B) If you respond with concern, maybe there is something wrong and this person has an emergency and needs to get through, you might be helpful, thus the outcome is to let them cut in. No great impact on your day or your life.
There’s always choice when responding. If your inner critic is saying “No, I can’t”, you will remain powerless. The can’t is an excuse for not being responsible. So let’s call a spade a spade and use the word won’t. Read why ‘Can’t is a Four Letter Word.” You choose the direction of the outcome.
Now, consider how you can apply this in your day. When you are receiving feedback from a situation, you have a choice in how you want to respond. Is the feedback helpful? When weighing the feedback, who is it from? How have you participated in this? What can you learn? Does a course correction make sense? Is there an opportunity to change within? What is going to create the best outcome that you want to see? I’ll repeat that…
What response is going to create the best outcome that you want to see?
Rather than react, respond. Pause before responding. Use that “3 Second Rule“.
The choice is yours…and let me know how you’ve applied this to your day.