I like to think of myself as being pretty darn good at focusing my energy on what I want versus what I don’t. I mean, I teach people to focus on what they want. In mid-July I was being interviewed and toward the end of it I was asked what I felt the problems were in my profession. I almost started into it then “Bam”, pattern interrupt, I realized I could get all caught-up in that story and the energy of “what’s wrong”. Being transparent, I decided to change the question to what I’d love to see and proceeded to talk about my vision and passion for my profession. I proceeded to talk about the … [Read more...]
Lack
Doing good just…
...because I can. Have you ever done a number of good things for someone else unbeknownst to them? Quietly supported them? Or even given them kudos for accomplishments while not being acknowledged for the part you’ve played? Perhaps they even know you’re helping and do not know how, or perhaps are too proud to express their gratitude? Perhaps they are recognizing you and you’re just not seeing it. A coaching client mentioned this recently and I was reminded of someone who I’d been supporting for years both in the foreground and background with the quiet assistance of “doing good” with … [Read more...]
The Pebble in My Shoe
What's the Pebble in Your Shoe? You know the annoying little reminder that something's off course. It may be a small inkling or something obvious that’s not quite right. Perhaps it’s showing up as dissatisfaction in your work or arguments with yourself and the ones you love. Perhaps it's not saying what needs to be said in a specific relationship. It may be a niggling, bothersome ache or pain. Do you feel like you're carrying something heavy on your shoulders or that something is eating away at your gut? Perhaps, it's the weight of a ball and chain tethering you down? Or, is the hair rising … [Read more...]
Chaos
Ever notice how life-changing events show up initially as chaos – it shows up as an illness, divorce, job change, loss of a loved one? Even cancer shows up as uncontrolled cellular growth: Chaotic as I see it in my experience. I am not proud of how I've dealt with some life events. Quite frankly, I've embarrassed myself a few times. What I've found though, is when I'm under stress we are really not in our right minds. We are in survival mode - fight or flight - which is not the best state for making choices or decisions. We’re reactive and become emotionally charged, inconsiderate, and … [Read more...]
A moment of Alice in Wonderland
I was attending a spiritual retreat last week on an island and one exercise we were asked to do was to bring a special stone that had one pointy end. We threw the stone and were to follow the direction of the point when it landed. So off I went. “Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go till you come to the end: then stop.” 1 I felt like Alice heading down a rabbit hole. I was led in a direction to a place where everything seemed out of place. A path of moss along a tree... A stone held in the air by an uprooted tree... A broken down cottage roof, a chair with no seat. All … [Read more...]
Women and Success: Part 2
Please read last week's blog before continuing to this one. One of the challenges heard so often when I coach groups of professional and executive women, is the guilt felt by working moms. They worry about what they are missing with their children when at work, and feel guilty when home about what they are missing in work. It's a no-win. You create guilt in either direction. There is no "right" way and many options. What is important is that you take responsibility for what you want to create. If your priority is to be with your children, then find the creative solution to do this. Either … [Read more...]
What if…
Do you spend time wondering about how things could be? The what ifs? Life can be complicated. We can dwell on the "what if" and finding the reasons why things can go wrong. But what if you considered how things can go right? How would your life change, how would your energy change? How would your decisions change? You are responsible for you. You are responsible for how you perceive every event that happens. When we are in a "negative" mindset, we attract more of what? How has that been working out for you so far? Are you willing to risk being different and thinking in a new way? Reframe … [Read more...]
Change Your Response
What does E+R=O mean? Coined by psychotherapist Robert Resnick, E= event, R= response and O=outcome. Simply, by choosing our response to any event we can change the outcome. Can you change something that has happened in the past? If you do not like the outcome you are currently receiving, then the onus is on you to change how you are responding to it. Responding of course means how you've interpreted the particular "event", in other words, your "thoughts" or "images" or your "behavior" in response to it. All of which are a choice we make. Consider when driving, another motorist blares his … [Read more...]
What Children Need The Most
With so many diversions, which way do you turn for parenting support for your children Whether they are young dependents or children returning home as young adults, how often do you make assumptions and give mixed messages? How much should you helicopter over them, and do you give them the freedom to experience both wins and failures? Is it your role to entertain in every moment or can they learn to play and entertain themselves? Where has make-believe and unstructured time gone? Other than for safety and perhaps good manners, how many ground rules do your children need? How do we stop … [Read more...]
What is tapping you on the shoulder?
What is tapping you on the shoulder? Got a concern bothering you? An ache that doesn’t go away? Some thought niggling away at you? All of these are messages through the body/mind asking us to pay attention. How often do you ignore them? I am sure you have experienced the same thing as me: When we ignore, don't pay attention these feelings, thoughts, or "aches" they do not go away. Well they might for a bit, but they rear their little heads in another message or through a greater signal at a future date. As I have experienced, when I've overridden these messages, they end up smacking me … [Read more...]